samedi 17 mars 2007

Eurovision 2007 : France gone mad... help Scooch go for UK!

Tonight I'm devasted, horrified, shocked, shot dead by the french public (and the jury's) votes that chose the song to go for France to Helsinki on the 12th of May for the Eurovision song contest 2007.

The Fatal Picards will represent our country with an awful pastiche song led by lyrics sung in french with a ridiculous english accent and a guitar chorus. Aimable & Son orchestre are not far ! This is the perfect song for a popular wedding party after 4 in the morning when everyone is drunk and wants to dance himself mad around the table trying to catch girls and steal them a kiss... I'm in hell!

The song is even bad enough and second degree to steal some voting to real serious eurovision entries and finish in the last ten placings for sure... I can't stand it!

Countdown to the desaster :

The show started right with Bob Sinclar's "Rock the party" sampling of C+C Music Factory line Everybody dance now! and I was prepared to see my favourite ones perform on stage, Jenifer Chevallier with the eurovision ballad "Mon étoile" (my star) and Estelle Lemée with the bubble pop "Comme un rêve" (like a dream) which reminded me of Ginie Line's 1999 take on the Eurovision internal french contest ("La même histoire") that failed against Nayah's "Je veux donner ma voix"...

The two hosts of the evening, Tex & Julien Lepers were awful, the first taking more interest in 2 cents' jokes than in knowing the title of the songs and the latter as always reading his memos.

First to compete were Les Vedettes, 6 majorettes dressed in red, with a song written by Katerine, "Vive papa", which, on a basic retro rockabillie beat, had them sing happily like bad backing vocalists that dad (apparently for Augusto Pinochet) is dead... 0/10

Then came MAP's "Grain d'sel" (litterally, grain of salt, but meaning they want to put their oar in), two rappers from north of France dressed like blue collars with caps that hammered their song like it should be as if they were in front of MTV's cameras... 2/10

Then came Jenifer Chevallier with her classic ballad "Mon étoile". She had 2 dancers and 3 vocalists with her, including a black guy that sung the high notes all along with her from the middle bridge part. They wear strange dresses & trousers and their performance was nice, the song classic but appealing though not a eurovision winner... 8/10

Then there was the Fatal Picards with "l'amour à la française" (love the french way). They all had a red rose and there was an irritating bald singer on speed singing along the lead singer all through the song. They seemed to have numerous fans in the crowd and elsewhere too as they are the winners...
I've said it all already, happy rockabillie song with awful way of singing the lyrics... 2/10

Then came more R&B/Rap/Riddim beats with Medi-T and "On & on" (On & On, you should've guessed!), two friends singing/rapping for friendship and peace between all colours of the world. The song came second to the show after getting to the final duel... Nice beat, good vocals and it'd have been fun to see France go to Eurovision with a french/english song for a time... 7/10

More urban rhythm then with Raï & R&B by BZR featuring Cheb Hamid rapping rather than singing "Galbi" (???)... Everything I dislike... 0,0000/10

Carribean short haired beauty Valérie Louri sung "Besoin d'ailleurs" (Need for somewhere else) after that. The song started slowly, very moody with african beats then got up with a storm before the end. Not a melody to really remember and vote for but a very nice dance & performance... It even made me like the song... 7/10

Do you remember the lithuanian entry of last year, LT United, singing We are the winners of Eurovision, we are, we are! we are, we are! THEY'RE BACK! or at least, they've been copied! It's a piece of shouting rock by The Wampas with a pathetic old rock leader taking his shirt off in the middle of his performance, running across the stage while shouting to us "Faut voter pour nous" (Gotta vote for us) and nearly losing his voice at moments, breaking it more than often but hey, that must be that, good ol' rock'n'roll . Not my cup of tea for sure but always better than the F***** Picards... 4/10

Charlotte Becquin and her all-woman band came to the stage then for a moody-rocky-shouty piece of non-sense called "Je veux tout" (I want it all). The song started so low that you couldn't understand a word she was singing then she got two steps behind her mic to shout so louder (and too far for her real vocal abilities) that you didn't understand anything more, then she got back to rumbling then back to shouting and when the girls finally left the stage, I got back to life... 3/10

Finally, miss bubble gum 2007, all dressed in pink & white like her dancers and with a pink scooter on stage, Estelle Lemée with "Comme un rêve", a piece of seventies pop that I liked and was my favourite ...before I saw her performance. She didn't give her song justice, singing a little out of tune when she had to sing in the high and looking so old fashioned, even for fans of Pop & Camp Eurovision like me that I was desperate not to want her to win anymore... 9/10 for the song, 5/10 for the performance . After that, I got high hopes for Jenifer but have been deceived she didn't even made it to the final two...

Now the cards are laid.
France will send an horrific song to this year's contest and we still need a real pop entry to save the Eurovision crown that has been stolen by KISS-a-monster-a-like Lordi last year...


Their Make Your Mind Up Competition to choose the right one to go to Helsinki is still to happen (on Saturday, 17th March) and the savers of pop are amongst them .
Six years after they've split, SCOOCH are back!
And I got all my fingers crossed that they will be be singing their camp anthemic song "Flying the flag (for you)" on Helsinki's euro stage.

Like Abba, they are two girls and two boys, they had 4 singles between 1999 & 2000 in the UK and in some other countries like Japan and were produced by Stock & Aitken (of legendary SAW but you all know that, don't you?).
They were opposed to UK number one group STEPS at the time and didn't challenge them : They disbanded after their first album's release while STEPS were still riding high in the UK charts.

But now they're back, all dressed like flight attendants and ready to take us to a pop flight to Eurovision Camp.
Clearly they got inspired by Kylie Minogue, her song "Light years" is not that far from here, but it sounds so good, cheesy and fun-tastic it deserves to win!
Sing with me :
Ba ba da Ba ba da Ba da da ba ba da
Ba ba da Ba ba da Ba da da ba ba da
We're flying the flag all over the world
We're flying the flag for you...
I imagine dancing steps with all four of them on stage waving flags around them with one eurovision flag, one european flag, one rainbow flag and the Union Jack... Would that be too much ?
This song is so camp!

Now go support them and hear it on their MySpace page :

Ba ba da Ba ba da Ba da da ba ba da... Ba ba da Ba ba da Ba da da ba ba da
That's universal language! As memorable as Kylie's "Can't get you out of my head". Since I heard their song yesterday, I can't get it out of my head .

17/03/07 EDIT :

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